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Let's Talk with Amber Nicole
Amber Nicole is a Relationship & Confidence Coach and #1 best selling author of two book anthologies, "Girl Get Up And Move" and "Courageous Enough To Launch". You may purchase both books or her highly popular digital courses, on her website https://linktr.ee/helloambernicole. Her focus is on the importance of rebuilding relationships, healing, gaining confidence in yourself, and returning to Godly principals. Let's Talk will have conversations that disrupt cultural norms and bring back love as the foundation of all relationships. Lastly, for updates and her free workbook “Is Your Self-Confidence Broken” click this link https://linktr.ee/helloambernicole and download it now!!
Let's Talk with Amber Nicole
Satan Is Destroying Our Families By Making Submission Wrong
This season we will be having more disruptive conversations. Season 4 we are talking about how the devil is destroying our community and using people to do it.
This episode we are focusing how the word submission has become a bad word in the culture.
Check out our site for courses, group coaching and new merch https://linktr.ee/helloambernicole
Alright, we are live. Welcome guys, welcome to. what happened? Okay, I don't know, hold on, I'm sorry guys. I just clicked on something. I'm using a new platform guys, and I just clicked on something. Okay, I don't know. All right, here we go. So, we are live. Let's talk with Amber Nicole season four guys. Thank you for joining. We are live right now here season four. I'm so grateful for this season. I just want you to know first off for those of that don't know me, I am coach Amber Nicole. I am a confidence coach, spirit-led confidence coach and also a relationship coach. I really just coach people into healing and how to become the best versions of themselves, the best God versions of themselves actually because it's not about us. It's about becoming who God called us to be and I really help a lot of women and men just guide them in becoming the best the best you okay that's what I'm here for. So if you don't know me that's me you can find me on all social media platforms at Hello Amber Nicole except for IG it's Hello It's Amber Nicole because Hello Amber Nicole was taken okay. Anyway so this season really I just want you guys to know I'm going to prepare my audience for this season. Because I know a lot of times, most of my seasons have been very loving, very kind, holding you accountable because that's what coaches do. However, this season I wanna make sure that I'm not only holding you accountable, but I'm really allowing, what I wanna say, I'm really going to be pushing you closer to God to have more of a relationship for God and also to take the blinders off and allow you to see a lot of the things that's going on in culture that is not, that's not okay. So basically this season, season four is gonna be more about disrupting cultural norms. So that's what I have on my flyer. Like let's talk with Amber Nicole, conversations that disrupt cultural norms because we are done with what culture says is okay because as we can see relationships are at an all-time low, healing is at an all-time low amongst certain people and we need to get back to a space where we are growing, building and becoming better and loving each other and being in community and we are not there right now. some of my followers that's been following me for years you've made this look at me and be like okay this is different you know and I got two screens so if I'm looking back and forth I'm looking at the other screen. But you might be like, you know, this is different. You know, she coming in a little hard, a little heavy, you know, but you know, I had a sat with the Lord. I sat with the Lord and he really was like, all right, Amber, you you got to stop playing small. You got to really rev up. you learning all this knowledge and you're learning it for yourself. But what good is it if I'm only learning it for me and I'm not sharing with the people that follow me and that listen to me. So I'm going to be teaching you guys a lot about what I've learned. I've grown the area. I've grown in and what God is really calling us to do in this season of the time. Alright? So this time typically I'd usually do like I'll have a certain episode or whatever and it'll just be episode about this episode about that episode about this but this season it's going to be eight episodes by the way if you don't know it's eight episodes. This season is going to be more of a series versus different episodes. And so the series that we're going to be focusing on is how Satan is how Satan is really messing up the family unit and and using culture and us to do that right and people are allowing it. So I really want to get to a space where I'm really teaching you guys a lot of the people that you follow are liars. Unfortunately, you know a lot of the people that call themselves Christians or say they follow God, don't really follow godly ways, biblical practices, they don't even read the Bible, you know and I'm not saying I'm perfect but I strive to be, I strive to be you know. So a lot of people aren't genuine and so really this series is going to be more about what Satan is doing in the culture, how he's using people, how he's using big voices who are not Christians but claim to be. and how a lot of us, a lot of people are being deceived because of it. So this first episode is basically how it's messing up relationships more so than anything, I guess I would say. I'm gonna really discuss how he's ruining the family culture. I did say that, now that think about it. Ruining the family culture. And so the first episode today is gonna be talking about how one of the ways that Satan ruins the culture is promote selfishness over sacrifice. So that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to really talk about how Satan promotes selfishness over sacrifice and how that has become so popular. It's become such a way of living today where everybody is all about me, my how I feel, my happiness and we're really in that space right now. And so I really want to discuss this with you guys and I won't be on here long it'll probably be you know about 20 minutes maybe and I really just want to just break down the key points give you guys some wisdom to impart into you guys some things that you want some things to think about and then break away until next week all right so let's do it. So one of the ways that Satan promotes selfishness over sacrifice is he makes the marriage or relationships more about me instead of we. So like Satan would push a mindset where marriage is about personal happiness rather than sacrifice and service and you guys know or if you don't know in Philippians 2 and 3, 2 verses 3 through 4 I'm gonna read that over here for you guys it says Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit rather in humility value others above yourself not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. Does this look like what's happening today? Like seriously if you really think about the people that you see, the voices that you hear the people that you're around, it may not necessarily be in your friend group, but I'm just saying when you see culture, when you see social media, when you see that, do you see people operating out of humility, put in the interests of others above themselves, or do you see more of selfishness and vain conceit and if it makes me happy, I'm doing this. Yeah, I I agree. I see more of the selfishness. It's about me. I see more of the... people saying if I want to do it and it makes me happy like I hear so I hear me and I so much with people who want to who are in relationships like I'm in a relationship but what about me what are you doing for me what are you bringing to the table for me how are you doing this for me when God called us to serve right God called us to be in a position in a community with relationships with people and to serve each other so if we really practiced more serving and more of how can I help you, what can I do for you, is I see you're having a hard time like how can I help you become better versus no I can't do this, I can't deal with this, this person is doing too much, they hurting me, whatever right. Maybe the person is hurting you. Watching see is that level of hurt something that is so detrimental that you can't forgive them. sorry not that you can't forgive them because God called us to forgive 70 times 7. I mean not I mean not when I say forgive I don't mean forgiveness I mean can't be around them don't want to be in relationship with them don't want to deal with them or is it something that they just need to learn because unfortunately like a lot of times we have to learn through making mistakes it sucks I know it sucks but if everything's right you never learn because everything's going good right I don't have to learn I don't have to be better you know, but a lot of times yes we do learn from making mistakes so you have to pay attention when you're looking at people are the person what if they did something to you is it was a mistake was it something that you can still be in relationship with they needed to learn from and they're willing to as well. The second thing that Satan does when it comes to promoting selfishness over sacrifice is he encouraged me he encouraged Courageous discontentment and basically what I mean when I say that is he would make people constantly compare their spouse, compare their relationships, compare them to others and making them feel like they're missing out on something. Like they look so happy over there like why doesn't my husband do this? Now let me just say this there's a difference between comparing and you kinda like what that guy is doing or you like what that woman is doing and you would like for your husband or wife to do that for you versus comparing and you feel like, oh, whatever they're doing, they must be so much happier and we're not happy, so let's start doing it their way as if their way is the right way. So I'm gonna bring up 1 Timothy 6. Let me just bring that up here. 1 Timothy 6 and 6. That's what we're doing right here in first sentence. But godliness with contentment is great gain. Simple. But godliness with contentment is great gain. which means basically, if God called you to be in that marriage, it's not necessarily about comparing, but it's more about finding out what your needs are, finding the person who can meet those needs, and then you also coming together and serve each other, and then also learning each other, compromising. It's not about all my way, I'm right, you're wrong. It's all about learning each other because relationships are hard, how a man thinks and how a woman thinks because at the end of the day we think totally different which is why God made man and God made woman because we don't think the same we don't do things the same like our emotions are different and so there are certain things that I'm here for and there are certain things that a man is here for and we are supposed to come together and learn and figure that out but when the focus becomes on discontentment, when the focus becomes on what you're not getting, when the focus becomes on what your spouse is not doing for you, then that's Satan's way of coming in and disrupting and continuously breaking apart what God has brought together. But now it's starting to be broken down because Satan hates marriage and God loves marriage. So if Satan can come in and break that up by making you discontent and then not only that, you focusing on discontentment versus trying to figure out How can I grow in this? How can I get better? How can I bring this? Issue to my partner so that me and him to my husband or wife I'm not gonna say partner to my husband or wife that way we can have a conversation about this So that we can grow from this now we can learn from this But if I just keep focusing on what is not working what he's not doing what she's not doing then It causes an art in your heart. It causes a disconnection in your heart. And if we don't Do what needs to be done to get back to the connection then that's how people say we grew apart We grew apart. No, you didn't grow apart. What happened was there was a discontentment there was a Comparison there were some things that happened and you guys didn't do what needed to be done to repair that and so you You fell apart because you didn't put the effort in and the work that needed to be done to make sure that your marriage stay together That is if it's a godly marriage That is if God called you to be together. So I do, I'm fully aware that there are some people that get married and God didn't call you guys to be married. And in those cases, breaking apart, even though whether you get therapy or not is inevitable because you're not meant to be together anyways. And then one of the last things that we're gonna discuss is one thing that Satan does is he attacks the communication. So when you're promoting selfishness, Satan promotes selfishness over sacrifice and one of those things is communication. All right guys so I'm gonna have this conversation with you really quick and I'm gonna put myself out there because I'm not perfect. I do wrong. Okay so me for me there's been times where I wanted to get my point across and my spouse sometimes didn't want to listen or didn't listen the way I think he should be listening or didn't receive or validate or do certain things and because of that reason it would have caused me to just keep talking and talking over him and if he said something I didn't like then I would interject and he would get to this point where he started calling me a conversation bully which I hated. I'm like it's a term you learn that you he didn't always use. But then he started calling me a conversation bully and I hated that term. Like don't call me that because I'm not a conversation bully. Like just because I know words and I know what to say and I have things to say does not mean a bully. But what he really was saying when it comes to the tech communication aspect is what he was saying is the fact that every time I talk you always have to interject and say something in return. You can't listen to me when I'm trying to talk to you, but I sit and listen to you. And then my response will be, yeah, you listen to me, but you don't respond in the way I think you should respond. And that's why I say something back, which is tackle, which is immature communication because it doesn't matter if I'm not listening to him or I'm listening to defend or listening to I'll just leave it there listening to defend that I'm really not listening with clear ears because when you're listening to defend, you can't really hear that person like you're not listening to understand where are you coming from so that this situation no longer happens again. so Satan would attack communication by making it easy for couples to avoid honest, loving communication and he would create resentment and distance. And that's pretty much what happens in a lot of relationships is that he creates a lot of resentment, a lot of distance and kind of like I said before, is you get to that space where you're like, well, we grew apart. Well, not necessarily. You didn't grow apart. You just had a lot of resentment that went unresolved. You had a lot of distance that you guys let happen. You didn't resolve the issue when it needed to be resolved. And when something festers and it keeps or something keeps happening, or a situation that was not resolved and then something else comes up, then it just compiles on top of compile, and then you just have one issue after another issue after another issue after another issue and you can only take so much of unresolved things before you're just like, I cannot take this, this person isn't for me. You know, I'm not supposed to be here, this isn't working. Like you really start focusing on that versus focusing on well, why did we? Why do we get married in the first place? Why do we get together in the first place? Why do we choose each other in the first place? What were those things that we liked? And kind of focusing on that. And then from there, because that's the foundation, right? Focus on the foundation. And then from there, get into that space where you are. Solving the issue. I have to get back to my thought process. You are solving the issue. So Like I said guys this series is really going to be more teaching I do a lot of like my other series was teaching in a sense But this is going to be really me teaching you helping you bring in more scripture I'm talking more about God. I talked about God always always been a Christian platform but just talking more about God bring a scripture to you and really trying to Get the blinders off you guys like seriously because I see so much disconnect and I have a righteous anger is what it's called. I have a righteous anger when I see the family, the family unit being broken down. I have a righteous anger when I see men and women attacking each other and not learning to love and grow. Like I have this frustration and deep pain in my heart when I see such a disconnect in our communities. and so many like so many things that are happening that's keeping us a more so far away from love that you don't even love know what love is no more so far away from community so far away from understanding and so just the distance that's continuing to happen and Satan is infiltrating himself in there like the snake that he is and people are allowing it to happen and there's so many wars that's going on between men and women that I was like I can't Like I have a platform and I'm going to use it. I have a voice and I'm going to say something. So my messaging is not going to be pretty all the time. Sometimes I may get a little frustrated, you know, but I really, really want to speak about how Satan is coming in and destroying the family unit and destroying the community and destroying us financially and destroying our mindset and destroying our relationships and destroying how we are. with our children, like literally because when you don't have a full family of husband, wife and kids in the household, it doesn't set our children up for good for a good foundation because it's a single person, whether it be a single father or a single mother. It's not allowing them to have such a firm foundation. I'm not saying it's impossible because I've seen a lot of men and women both grow up with single parent hope. single-parent households and it turns out to be great but that's not the majority. It's not the majority. It's a small minority of people who that happens to. The majority is a lot of the single-parent households and those kids end up turning out not to be the greatest and struggling even if they turn out to be the best. There's a level of struggle that they have to go through. that if we had a husband, wife, mom, dad in the household that they would not have to do that. So my platform, this series, like I said, for Let's Talk with me, Amber Nicole, we are really gonna be discussing what needs to be done with the family union, what Satan does and how he's coming in and ruining that. So I kind of went over a little bit. promoting selfishness over sacrifice. I talked about the Bible scriptures if you guys want me to say them again. It was Philippians 2 verses 3 and 4. Read that Bible verse. And then the other Bible verse was 1st Timothy 6 and 6. And then the last one was Ephesians 4 which I actually did not read but I'm gonna I'm gonna read that one now. First off, if I could spell, cause what? I didn't even spell it right. So Ephesians 4 verses 26 through 27, I'm going to read that for you really quick guys. It says, In your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. And that was connected to when I said he attacks communication. Because you get mad, you stop talking, you disconnect and you don't want to say nothing no more. And so God says that in your anger, in your anger, do not let the sun go down. Basically without forgiving each other and figuring out how to heal, not heal, sorry, how to resolve what needs to be resolved because if you let the sun go down and it's still there and you let the sun go down the next day and it's still there and let the sun go down the next day a lot of times bitterness and resentment happens because you guys didn't resolve what need to be resolved so if you find yourself in relationship with someone you're so bitter and so angry towards them and you just don't know how to not be that way for starters you got to heal and forgive whatever betrayal or whatever they did to you it starts with forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that it's okay. Forgiveness means that you are going to let that situation go and figure out how to be in better relationship with them if you choose to be in relationship with them. But if you choose not to be in a relationship with them then that's your decision. But forgiveness is mandatory. And then from there once you forgive then you guys have to work on healing and resolving the issue at hand and that's where I come in helping you guys resolve those issues and really helping you guys rebuild the foundation on why you guys started dating in the first place. That's season four, episode one guys. Like really go back and watch it. I know I spoke kind of fast. I know I to get through it because I want a timeframe and I wanted to get everything I had to say through there. really, I really want you guys, if you are really serious about relationships, if you're really serious about growing and building and you too are like me and you're like, I am so tired of the gender wars between men and women. I'm so tired of this men being. a lot of men are more feminine today, a lot of women are more masculine, like there's this disconnect and distortion of gender roles and things like that. And actually we're gonna be talking about that next week, how Satan distorts the gender roles and how men and women should be and making it seem like a woman should do this, man should do that, and whatever the case may be. So I'm not gonna really get into that because we're gonna talk about that next week. But today we really just want to discuss how Satan promotes selfishness over sacrifice is basically what we talked about today. So I really want you guys to go re-listen to this episode. Listen to it slowly, stop, pause. Listen to it slowly, stop, pause. Because I know at times, sometimes I talk a little fast. So I want you guys to get this in your spirit, pray about it. Really ask God to help you, help the people around you. And be okay with not judging others, but be okay with pointing out sin and pointing out wrong when it is hurting. other people. Your sin, a lot of the people today, the cultures, not the culture sorry, the celebrities that have these big or these people who have big huge platforms, those people are hurting the culture because they have big loud voices but what they're doing and how they're living is not the God way. is not how we should be living. And as you can see, people following along and that's why what happened is that we've become so disconnected from each other. We got so far from love being our foundation, so far from God being the foundation of who we are as people, that there's been so much disconnect. So that's what we're going to be talking about for the next season, for this next season four is really how to get back to love, how to rebuild that foundation, how to get back to togetherness and community and family and whatever I can do to help you guys. I'm here all in genuine heart ready to step in point things out when they're wrong give you some love give you some wisdom and in love and help you guys become better. So take the blinders off some people may not be able to understand or see and I'm okay with that you know it is what it is but that is the end. of season one of the episode one join me next week let's talk with Amber Nicole on Friday live at 7 30 p.m eastern standard time on YouTube hello Amber Nicole all right have a good day bye guys